Um...6 years later??

6 years it's been since I posted on this blog. I just read the last entry- I can't bellive its been that long since I went to mini-rehab.  I can barely remember it.  Nanaimo was a toxic place for me back then. Bad break-up, lonely, and desperate to meet friends. 
But god- that was 6 years ago and that kind of blows my freaking mind.  What have I done in the last 6 years?  Best not to think about it. Most of my time has been spent watching tv, getting chubbier and chubbier, wallowing in anxiety on and off...and trying to be a people pleaser. Ugh.
That is depressing.  On the plus side- I am going to Sask oin one week to paint Luke and Lindsay's new property. And in one month, I am going to Ireland for one and a half weeks.  I am terrified because I have never been out of the country aside from a trip to Disneyland in grade 12, and a few trips to Seattle.  2, to be exact.
I am loathe to read the rest of my blog.  It was sooo  long ago and I fear I may have been too open about my private life!  I was pretty balls-out and fearless back then.  I equated being loud and brash with being self- secure. 
Apologise for introspective update.  Promises for hilarity in the future!

Perv

I pretty much just wanted to put this picture of a rainbow love-man up for your veiwing pleasure. You're welcome.

Delicious Pussy Whip!

I have taken up a job while I am going to rehab classes. I am painting and cleaning in some senior's lodge complex. My boss is totally crooked, but I get paid under the table which is just fine with me. On my first day though, I went to the site and got set up when the maintennance guy came in and told me I should start in the smoking room. So fine- go to the smoking room- he says, "I think we're painting these three walls in yellow, this COCKANDBALLS!! wall in brown."
Yes! It was wonderful and euphoric for me. My first meeting with turret's symdrome! I am sure that is not how turret's syndrome is spelled, but that's what you get for now. Anyhoo, throughout the day, I heard COCKANDBALLS ABOUT 30 TIMES. It was the best day of working I have ever had in my entire life.
THEN, the next day I met the REAL maintennance guy. Apparently, Mr. COCKANDBALLS is a resident who lives in the lodge, and helps out every now and then to pay off the smokes he bums off the staff. Huh.
Tomorrow, I am off again in the am to my rehab class. I hate about half of them with every rotten thing that lurkes within the core of my being. Also, NO hot guys.
Another thing is, is that it hasn't curbed my desire or my physical craving for booze whatsoever. I no longer care for any drug of any sort, but I have never wanted a beer so bad in my whole life! I keep trying to think of excuses to run downtown and tie on a quick one. Unfortunately, I have no friends here in Nanaimo and so I can't tell my parents I'm going to meet someone for coffee or anything.
Poop.

The Hangover

Oh, so there was another incident with my boyfriend and now I am at my mum and dad's in Nanaimo and I wish I had just never told them anything and I could just stay home with my shitty boyfriend and figure things out from there.
So the door had been kicked in and a "physical altercation" ensued but I am an idiot and want to forgive him despite the injuries. It's not like I am so innocent in this ordeal- the drugs have really gotten out of hand, frankly. And there were the police and later there were my friends who wanted to help this quasi-skinhead I used to date that wanted to "lay the boots" into my boyfriend after he'd heard. And I'm all "No...no..." bc I am a stupid stereo-type victim and want to protect my boyfriend.
Dad is late coming to get me to take me to my crug meeting. I mean, drug meeting. You'd think he didn't want to stuff me into rehab at all! I certainly do not want to go. I mean, I would if it were glamorous and NOT full of crackheads, I guess. Like, will there be a hot tub and a gym? Will there just be a bunch of drones all sitting in a beige common room with couches that have rectangular wooden armrests instead of plush, cushy ones, all having to watch the same channel on the only tv in the compound? You know the couches I mean. The fabric will be worn out and woven in a plaid pattern- probably cream based with a brown and yellow switch. I will hate everyone because secretly I will believe I am superior to everyone there. I will have to watch my things! They will all be wanting my things bc all they have will be the clothes on their backs.
Sorry this isn't a very cheery update, but you know how it is when your entire life has been turned upside down in a matter of a day. Everything I knew to be true yesterday is gone and the hangover that will be the next few months begins.
Here, I will cheer things up with a picture.

Anal Beads! Heehee!

I am trying to find a way to leave him this month. I got a phone call from the Landlord- and we got a warning due to my boyfriend's temper. I guess he went over and yelled at the neighbor for leaving the "fucking" gate open. He says he didn't yell, but what does it matter? He is just too stupid to get it. I am not at all attracted to him at all anymore. Like, at ALL. I just look at him and think - you're drooling out the side of your mouth you're so stupid.... And that he is dangerously stupid, is another thing. He is going to wind up in prison soon enough. Yesterday I tried to give the dog a flower to chew on an he tried to choke me from behind (only for a short bit) because he had just cleaned the floor.
I just have to find out how to go about doing this so I can get enough money to move out, WHERE to move to that is not currently charging 700 plus a month (and this includes room-shares!!) and when to do it. Like, do I sneak out and move? Do I tell him and live in tension for a month until April? Obviously not.

Maybe what I will do is move out BUT still technically be dating him, and make some bullshit excuse about 'needing my own space', then once I am safely moved out, break up!! Brilliant.

On a happier note- I am going out with my girlfriends tonight to watch men take their clothes off. Perhaps some molesting is in my future? Yes? I mean, me molesting them, not the other way around. Unless they want to of course!

I'm not gay but I do like rainbows.

I won a lovely limo package today- I am taking 10 of my closest lady friends (and one tranny) to Ladies Night at the Skybar here. It is a very hoity-toity club that I would never go to bc I would feel like an old lady and not hot. See, I like to feel hot, so I frequent places that have few, if any attractive people, like the Cambie, the Ivanhoe, and the 340.
Anyhoo, we will be served by shitless male servers,I mean shirtless male servers, and we get a round of drinks (I plan on orderring a drink that has a lot of embellishments- ie- umbrellas, fruit, swords, etc.) and then- strippers! I saw the website and it is loaded with homoerotica. Naked men piled on top of each other. Nice touch.
If I do not break up with my boyfriend, I am going to murder him soon enough. If he thought a flower looked at him the wrong way he would probably swear at it for a good half hour at top volume. While my boyfriends are getting better looking, they are getting worse in quality. Plus, the sex SUCKS!
I'm hungry and I want a hotdog. I keep forgetting that I turned vegetarian today. I have already had a chicken wrap.

Remembering all the Chickens I've Eaten in Vain

Does anyone know the name of that place on Albert, in the South end, on the West side of the street, that was a 2 story billiards with massive chicken wings? I was craving wings today and it came to mind. Jill MacPhearson used to work there...